Day 349: Get Behind Me
Accountability Holds Against the People Who Mean Well
Photo by RDNE Stock project
He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. “Get behind me, Satan!” he said. “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” — Mark 8:31-33 (NIV)
Reflection
This passage gives us the first time Jesus tells the disciples openly what’s going to happen. He’s going to suffer, be rejected, and be killed. And He’ll rise on the third day. He gives it to them straight up, no parables. And of course it is Peter, who just a few verses earlier confessed Jesus as the Christ, who takes Him aside and rebukes Him.
Now we all know that Peter’s intent isn’t malicious here. He’s being protective. In all of his understanding, the Messiah doesn’t die. The Messiah wins out. The idea of a suffering Christ is simply incoherent to him, and on top of that, this is his friend. He doesn’t want this for Jesus. I think that most of us would recognize the place this pushback comes from.
So when Jesus turns on him and calls him Satan, it’s a shock to us, but can you imagine how it must have felt to poor Peter? This is stronger language than Jesus uses toward a disciple anywhere in the Gospels. Jesus uses the word used to name the tempter in the wilderness. He is calling out what Peter just did as the same kind of work as the temptation in the desert.
Why such severe language for what looks like a well-meant pushback? Because the content of what Peter said could not coexist with what Jesus had been given to do. Peter was pulling Him off the alignment. The fact that the pull came wrapped in love did not make it less dangerous. In fact, it probably made it more dangerous. The temptations in the wilderness were, all things considered, pretty rude. But this one was sophisticated. It came from a friend, with affection, in a language that sounded reasonable. And Jesus identified it as the same threat.
It’s far less likely that your accountability will be tested by your enemies than by the people who love you. They are the ones most likely to talk you out of what your alignment requires because they don’t want to see you suffer. Like Peter, they are only doing what love makes apparent to them in the moment. And the pull is real because affection is harder to refuse than hostility.
You likely know the conversation. It rarely starts with the person saying anything that sounds wrong. “Have you really thought this through?” “I just don’t want to see you regret this later.” Or my personal favorite, the one that comes with the head tilt and the slow nod: “I support you, but...” The affection in the room becomes the gravity that pulls you off the line.
Please don’t take this as permission to dismiss the people who love you. Sometimes their pushback is the right pushback, and the right thing to do is listen and adjust. The discernment factor is whether their words are calling you back to your alignment or pulling you off of it. Jesus had done that discernment. He knew Peter loved Him, and He knew that Peter meant well. He still identified what Peter said as a threat. The substance of it could not be reconciled with the work He had been given.
When the people who love you try to redirect you, the question is the same one Jesus had to answer. Is what they’re saying calling you back to your alignment or pulling you off it? The love is real either way. The redirect can still be wrong. It is in that moment that your accountability will face its greatest test.
Prompt
Where in your life has affection been used to pull you off your alignment? When was the last time you held the alignment even when the person urging you to soften it was someone you love?
Practice: Examine the Discernment
This week, identify one situation where someone you care about has been encouraging you toward a path that does not align with what you have been called to do. Sit with the discernment work. Is their pushback calling you back to your alignment or pulling you off it? Make the call deliberately, rather than defaulting to either side because of the relationship.
Reminder
The pushback that comes wrapped in affection is still pushback. The question is not whether the person means well. The question is whether their redirect lines up with what you are actually accountable to.
P.S. If you have been letting affection talk you out of what your alignment requires, this might be your reminder that Jesus called Peter Satan when Peter tried to protect Him from the cross. Share this with someone who needs to hold the line against the loving voices in their life.